"A Well-Behaved Woman" - highs and lows but overall quite good

Fiona Ross from her current exhibition at Page Bond Gallery

What a great conversation about this interesting and informative fictional account of Alva Vanderbilt, her storied relatives and the mores her time. While there is no doubt we all live within the conventions of our times and our societies, by today's standards poor Alva had a very hard row to hoe. She was pretty but not enough to attract marriage with established money, she was impoverished though gentile so marriage to money was essential.  Unfortunately she was clever and capable which did not earn her many girlfriends that might help.

There was one girlfriend though, a friend for life or at least Alva thought so. In the end, this was a book on two levels and both worked - one, the story of a determined, intelligent and hardworking person who raised the social status (all that counted if you had money) of her clan. The other was of a lonely, ambitious person whose loyalties were betrayed with relationships that were ultimately of competition and expedience. That she landed these same characteristics on her daughter showed only the implacable acceptance of what was admired and appreciated once one was wealthy. Happiness was not necessarily on the docket, at least not at first.

As a story, there were two standout sections - the first was the unfolding of Alva working her way into a society closed to her and the Vanderbilts and positioning herself as one of its luminaries. It is hard to remember how rigid the wealthy society was, to exclude such great wealth as not good enough, but maybe judgement is the same now, just on different criteria. Another nugget was that Alva used a consultant, Ward McAllister to help her devise strategy and wangle invitations. Who knew that is what it took!

The second standout section as a story was Alva's brilliant extraction from her marriage after finding out her best friend had a long running affair with her husband William. To find out decades later that your best friend engineered your marriage with her paramour because he wasn't good enough for her but she wanted him around? Not good.  Alva shows her character again though and finds a way forward that gives her some happiness for a short time.

Lost perhaps is her daughter, forced into a marriage of title but not love and certainly not responsible behavior. Looking at the characterizations at the time, and even all these years later (mind you, it is only Wikipedia), poor Alva is a strict tyrant, protecting the family name to the detriment of all around her. As with so many women before and after her, her ability and willingness to get the outcome she wanted for herself and her family drew criticism, complaint and condemnation. It may not be so different today.

I found the delineation of the Vanderbilt family tree very interesting though, and the side story of the Biltmore was a bit of a highlight.

And so, on we go. It is impossible, it seems, to leave the late 1800's. Our next book is Destiny of the Republic by Candice Millard. She wrote the amazing book River of Doubt about Theodore Roosevelt. This one is on the Garfield assassination. Don't despair, she is an amazing storyteller. We are scheduled to meet on April 17 (note, this is a Wednesday) at Wendy's. We need to swap for another venue though as Wendy's is now not available. Any volunteers? Let me know if so.

May is the 21st at Ashley's and the book is Less by Andrew Greer. June is the 18th at Lynn's but no book yet. Put on your thinking cap, see you on April 17!